Finding a New Normal: What We Miss Most about Korea

Now back in the United States for a couple of months, we’ve been enjoying some of the comforts of home. Catching up with friends and family has been a highlight of our return. However, it’s also been a time of reflection on those parts of our South Korean experience that we really miss.

Grief is a normal part of culture shock, and part of coping is understanding that conflicting emotions are okay. It’s okay to miss home and also to feel really excited about living in a new place. It’s also okay to feel happy to be home but also to grieve for the place you left. Few life transitions are simple, and recognizing that we often hold conflicting emotions within ourselves is part of learning to navigate the tricky times.

In our last post, we highlighted those parts of our life that suddenly became much easier when we arrived back in our home country. In this post, we celebrate the awesome parts of Korean life that we miss the most.

Public transportation

I did not miss driving while we were living in Seoul. The few times we rented a car for road trips were enough of a fix for me! The chemist missed driving a little bit, but he didn’t drive at all in South Korea, so a full year without driving felt long to him. Except in very small cities, we had great success traveling around the country by train and intercity bus.

South Korea has a fantastic public transportation system including trains (including the super fast KTX), buses, subways, and taxis. Especially in large cities, the bus and subway systems are top notch and clean. In Seoul, there are about 15 interconnecting subway lines that cost only a little over $1 (USD) per ride. It’s difficult to travel anywhere in Seoul not reachable by subway or city bus. Taxis are also affordable, though, if you find you need one.

Public transportation was especially useful for hiking because in and near Seoul, there was almost always a subway or bus available at the start and end of each trail. This meant that no matter where you ended a hike, it was probably pretty easy to get back to the city.

Hiking South Korean mountains

You knew this one would make the list, right? With 70% of the country covered in mountains, South Korea has some of the most prolific hiking opportunities you can imagine. It was almost always easy and quick to get to an interesting hiking trail. The availability of hikes for all levels of endurance and technical skill was also remarkable. Whether we were in the mood for an evening walk or an all-day climb, we could easily reach a trail that fit the bill. Moreover, the hiking trails are almost universally well-maintained.

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Feeling of safety

Admittedly, this one is probably more specific to me that to the chemist. Whether we realize it or not, women in many parts of the world walk around constantly checking over our shoulders and feeling on alert lest our physical safety be threatened. South Korea, however, ranks 143rd in the world for its rate of violent crime. The United States ranks number one, with more than eighty times the incidence of reported violent crime than South Korea.

Though women are prone to particular stressors when it comes to ensuring their physical safety, the rise in mass shootings in the United States may mean that both men and women are feeling more stressed. In one 2019 poll of adults over 18 in the United States, almost 80% of those surveyed reported feeling some level of stress over the possibility of a mass shooting.

At some point during our time in Seoul, I realized that I didn’t feel worried at all about my safety when I went out alone. Although a certain amount of awareness is always needed when walking around a city at night, I noticed that even at night I didn’t ever feel afraid. Sitting in a Seoul restaurant once, I saw a man enter dressed in black and wearing a black helmet and a mask. My first thought was, “Is he about to open fire in here?” Then I realized, “Oh, I’m in South Korea. He’s just a delivery guy picking up food.” So yeah, I miss that feeling of safety.

Good, affordable food easy to find

Even though most groceries were more expensive or comparable to what we’re used to paying in Pennsylvania, many local restaurants in South Korea are very affordable. Eating meals out together is an important part of Korean culture, and taking advantage of this cultural norm is possible because it’s easy to eat out cheaply.

What’s more important – cheap food does not necessarily mean poor quality food. We ate so many lovely Korean meals for a fraction of what it costs to eat out in most parts of the U.S. Indeed, even in expensive Seoul it wasn’t unusual to find a substantial hot meal in a local restaurant for under 10,000 KRW (<10 USD).

The downside? Eating meals out was so affordable that we didn’t learn to cook a lot of Korean dishes at home! We’d better get on that hunt for some delicious Korean food in Philadelphia…

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Technology

It’s not that there’s lots of technology in South Korea that’s unavailable in the U.S.; it’s just that in Korea it’s ubiquitous! The everyday technology I miss the most are Korea’s nearly universal keypads used for keyless entry (at least in urban environments). Because we didn’t have a car and opened every door to home or office with a keypad, we didn’t have to carry a single key for a year. (And yes, we know we could get this technology for our home in the U.S., but it still wouldn’t be the same as having keyless entry nearly everywhere.)

We also really appreciated the payment system for public transit, which you can completely integrate with your Korean credit card or even your phone. This means you never have to have a separate card to enter or pay for transit – so easy!

There is plenty of technology that’s just fun and artistic, such as the many LED-based art installations. Lots of interactive displays and opportunities for photos with friends.

Clean public restrooms (everywhere!)

From subway stations to hiking trails to temples, South Korea has some impressive public restrooms. Not only are they easy to find most anywhere, but they tend to be clean and well-maintained. Very seldom did we find ourselves on any sort of hunt for a restroom during our Korean travels.

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Sense of adventure

Even though living in a different culture was stressful at times, the stress was mitigated by the constant sense that there was something new to see or learn. It was fun to be surprised when the restaurant order showed up and wasn’t quite what we expected, or to try to figure out what the Korean speakers at the next table were talking about. Even my nemesis, the grocery store, ceased to be anxiety-provoking and became a fun adventure. How often in life does running errands feel like a new adventure each time? I would trade some easy familiarity for this opportunity any day!

Our community

It nearly goes without saying, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention our fantastic international community in Seoul. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: there’s something really special about finding friends from all over the world who can hang out together and talk about both differences and what we have in common. We learned a ton and had incredibly fun times with these folks. We miss you!

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